Intimacy and Breast Cancer
Written by Madeline McNeill. She is a Public Health Intern with Going Beyond the Pink and is passionate about making a difference in the breast cancer community. *Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links.
Let’s face it; treatment for breast cancer takes a toll on a person’s body, both functionally and on self-image. Many talk openly about the myriad ways we see this impact, but intimacy always seems so taboo. Well, it’s time we talk about the pink elephant in the room…
Treatment for breast cancer can affect your self-image because of the ways it changes your body, but it also can impact the amount of estrogen in your body, so you may also be facing changes like vaginal dryness, vaginal atrophy, and painful intercourse. As treatments take a toll on your body, you may be wondering how intimacy is impacted or when it is ok to start being intimate again. This topic can be a little uncomfortable for some people to talk about, and we hope that this blog will help guide you through it.
How Does Cancer Affect Intimacy?
Breast cancer treatments can lead to vaginal dryness, hair loss, scars, and more. These changes may cause you to feel a variety of emotions, especially when it comes to being intimate. For some, these impacts may lead to a lack of self confidence or a negative self image. In addition, treatment/medication can also cause a lower sex drive or lead to pain when engaging in intimate behaviors.
Breast cancer patients/survivors are more vulnerable to issues like sexual dysfunction due to the fact that most types are estrogen-driven, so treatments often work to eliminate estrogen. You’re not alone - according to scientists at Oregon Health and Science University, about 70-100% of breast cancer patients experience some sort of sexual dysfunction. Don’t let this discourage you - there are measures you can take to help with this.
Getting Intimate Again
There is no right or wrong time to resume intimate behaviors following a breast cancer diagnosis. Do what you feel is right. Ease back into it - you don’t need to jump back into doing everything you were doing before right away. Also, try switching it up and doing something different. Find clothes, lingerie, etc. that make you feel good about yourself.
Openly communicate with your partner to share how you are feeling. Let them know what you feel comfortable with doing at the moment. They play a big role in your intimacy and are likely there to support you. If you are struggling to talk to your partner about it, try going to a counselor or one of your health care providers if you would feel more comfortable there. They can provide you with information on how to approach the process of getting back into intimacy.
If you are experiencing excessive dryness due to chemo or medications, try using a vaginal lubricant or moisturizer to help ease some of the pain. They can be purchased at your nearest pharmacy and can be helpful even if you aren’t participating in sexual activity yet. Just be sure to purchase one that doesn’t have estrogen or phytoestrogens among the ingredients. The Olive and Bee Intimate Cream is a natural cream that can be used as an intimate moisturizer, lubricant or massage oil. In addition, it doesn't alter pH balance and is free from chemicals/additives that could harm your body.
Additional Resources
“A Better Normal” Book - offers support to help increase connection, intimacy, and sexuality.
Intimacy and Cancer Facebook Group - an inclusive group focused on intimacy that allows you to share your feelings, thoughts, questions, and more.