Caregiving with Craig
“The Beast” was the name Craig coined for breast cancer, and a beast it was. The cancer thief robbed he and his wife Traci of even the smallest joy. In the blink of an eye, Craig transitioned to being a support beam as his wife battled aggressive stage 3 inflammatory breast cancer.
In a marriage spanning over 30 years built off a lot of love, sarcastic humor and a bit of cynicism, Craig’s optimistic character is what saw him through his wife’s cancer treatments and his new role as a caregiver.
The fear of the “cancer unknown” threw him a bit for a loop, but developing a plan helped to create structure and normalcy in their lives. Receiving the diagnosis and figuring out next steps for his family allowed for Craig to see just what his wife would be going through, but also how he can be there to support her. It also helped him to see just how he can carry out his life as normally as possible.
Craig with his wife, Traci, leaving the infusion center together after her last chemotherapy.
Both he and his wife had little clue what to expect, but one thing was agreed upon and very clear: Comprise a team of trusted doctors. He wanted to be sure that for his wife to receive treatment, they had to trust the source of the information. It might mean you have to drive a little further on some days, but Craig noted it made a huge difference in lessening the anxiety about receiving medical information.
When I sat down with Craig, he also noted that cancer just completely robs you of your dignity -- any that you have. Watching your loved one go through these changes and feeling like there is nothing you can do tugs at the pride one has with care-taking responsibilities. Ripple effects of cancer are felt in the everyday tasks of life.
Craig’s job? To figure out how he can help. To help find the strength to push forward.
As a caregiver, duties ranged from making a drink made solely out of ricotta and cottage cheese to help put food in the system, or being the person to hold on to as they try to navigate walking through the house. It might even be surfing on social media to find your wife’s new wig.
Keeping his wife company at chemotherapy
Caregivers should be ready to step up to the plate. The job, albeit rewarding, can be demanding, challenging, and at times, frustrating. There may be tense moments and moments when you just want your loved one to get better, but keeping the faith and finding that strength within yourself is integral in the fight against cancer. The beast tries to rob you of all joy and dignity, but it can’t unless you let it. Finding little graces every day is something you become good at in finding strength to keep going.
Prayer was a constant in their cancer journey, as was St. Peregrine. St. Peregrine is the patron saint of cancer patients. God listens to prayers – and he never gives you more than you can handle.
Finally, it helps to laugh, and laugh a lot. Those instances of joy where the world is at peace and you forget all about the beast because your belly hurts from the joke your partner just told help make up for the tears, and the hospital food.
It was Craig’s unwavering support and positive outlook through the back-and-forth driving, the hospital visits, the hardships and the difficulty of their new reality that allowed them to keep going. Neither one ever lost the fight. They missed out on birthdays, holidays, weddings, celebrations, and even a family golf tournament – yet, they were in it together. They were each other’s best company. And not backing down, finding the warriors inside both he and his wife, ultimately led to where they are today: cancer-free, full of life, and full of love.
November 2019
Ringing the bell at the last chemotherapy!